On the hierarchy at Emerson, I am at the very bottom. The amoeba of the food chain. The last rung. The farthest from the hub. One of those newbie volunteers who stumble through the hospital with a hesitant step and unsure gaze. So today was a sophomore volunteer effort at Emerson Hospital—a mostly mind-numbing unexercise spent in the butt-numbing seat at reception.
As far as volunteer experiences go, today was actually was quite pleasant because everyone was so damn nice. The problem: I didn't meet many people, as I spent 4 hours in a lobby with a traffic of 25 human bodies per hour—the vast majority of which whirled by without a gaze. One woman even deigned to say to me, “You must be soooo bored!”
Word.
Although 95% of my time was spent trying not to look bored, a few interesting moments did pop up. Not especially interesting, mind you, because in the context of these events, even an ant crawling would have been a welcome relief.
Exhibit A:
Man walks in.
Man: Is plastic surgery on the 7th floor?
Me: Let me check.
Me (thinking): What? Emerson does plastic surgery? This guy is pretty good looking in a creepy hot villain kind of way; he shouldn’t be having plastic surgery.
Man pulls out hand with 2-inch festering sore.
Me (thinking): Ooooooh. It looks like an acid burn.
Exhibit B:
Woman: “Excuse me sir, can you tell me what time it is?”
Man 1: “Oh sorry. I didn’t look when I left.”
Woman: “Am I making you nervous? Am I?”
Man 1: “Hey, there’s a clock right there” Points to wall.
** 1 minute later **
Woman: “Excuse me sir, do you know what time it is?”
Man 2: “It’s 4:21.”
The lady must have asked for the time on at least 4 different instances within a span of 10 minutes. Huh.
Exhibit C:
Woman (same one): “Hey look! I think that lady is Innn-dian. Doesn’t she look like she’s from Innn-dia? You know, there are so many Innn-dian people in Woburn. Doesn’t she look like she’s from Innn-dia?”
Alright, I’m done. I’m probably violating a great many patient confidentiality rules and deserve to be fired. Boredom must be the seed of all maliciousness.
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2 comments:
Nah, you ne'er took the Hippo-cratic oath, silly!
Er... I don't remember seeing that many Indian people when I lived in Woburn. Sheesh, she hasn't been at AB.
At least you get free lunch there? And volunteering hours, not like you need those.
Sufjan is actually spelt without an 'i.' Opps.
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