My first livejournal entry was about how much I disliked LJ. Alas, my first impressions held true and here I return to the blog I started. No eulogies please. It's a resurrection.
It was an established community of high school friends and acquaintances that first drew me to LJ. I had my own corner of the world wide web carefully arranged, but what use if no one came to visit? Driven to fits of nostalgia by the impending end of high school, I longed to cling to those last memories. Yes, we will separate, but we'll always keep in touch through the wonderful thing called the Internet.
It's now deep into the summer--the end of June--and I can feel all my high school connections dying. The strongest connections are stretching, fraying at the edges as we all tug in the divergent directions of college. The tenuous ones have already snapped, like string pulled too thin and too tight. But distance always grows during the summer; it's a natural consequence of things done alone and time spent apart. Usually though, we have September to retie those strings, double knot them, and become one again for the school year. We giggle and gossip and suddenly we are all friends again. Our different experiences during the summer are tantalizing exotica to share in conversation. Our differences made us unique, but it was our similarities that bound us together.
This year, there will be no September, or at least no September together. This year, distance will continue to grow. Our college experiences will become occasional wall posts, status messages, LJ entries, phone calls, and maybe anecdotes to tell at get togethers, but they will always have a foreign tang. With no more mutual experiences, the glue that bonds us dries and cracks, and we have only the past to bring us together. Our pasts may be shared, but we look toward the future and see divergent paths.
I admit to not really trying with LJ. I kinda just cowardly gave on trying to friend more people because by that time, I really was ready to move on from high school. I write about friendships fading and connections snapping, which regardless of the connotations of those words, I find to be liberating. I will go longer be bound by the expectations of my friends, classmates, and acquaintances. I am sad that the people I have shared the last 6 years with will not be with me, but I have accepted that as all right.
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4 comments:
In case it helps at all.... I graduated from High School 12 years ago, and I am still quite close with a number of my friends (many of whom I had known since elementary school). I know it is so hard to part, and to reach new chapters of your life, but we never know what our futures hold. The closest frends often stick around :)
Well, that's why I'm against signing yearbooks. Because you will make the effort to keep in touch with those who really matter. So there is no point of writing "I miss you's."
And it's okay that we're not gonna see each other. You're going to make new friends, and be too busy hanging out with them to miss us. Not in a bad way either.
Oh, and welcome back. I knew you would come back. Haha.
*cracks like glue*
Ow, Jinzcakes!
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