Despite failing spectactularly on my first BC calc exam, I remain in a remarkable state of Zen-like calmness. Is it senior slide catching up to me? Lethargy and inertia seem the predominate state of my being.
After seeing a small (this is Noeth) red C- on my calc test, in addition to a scrawled note demanding "more study needed," I reacted with little emotion. Perhaps it is a profound state of denial, but I really don't seem to care. Or this there some Freudian defense mechanism (i.e. denial) pretending to me I don't care? There was also a supreme confidence that I would do much better on the next test, that I was capable of doing much better. Really, you think I would freak out more after getting the lowest math test grade of my life. This is from first grade onward and includes all those tedious hours of Kumon. Whatever the case, I cannot profess to be easily moved. I believe myself to be a rather sensitive person--hypersensitive in some cases--but I rarely, rarely cry.
Maybe it's just back-to-school blues, but I have been very spacey all week. I read the instructions on tests all wrong, skip questions on accident, am especially inarticulate, and generally seem to be operating in another dimension. I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself king of infinite space.
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2 comments:
Worry not. I am a failure as well. Alas, I have yet to find Dibs, though he has long since found himself.
Hey there, no worries Jinz! Tes yeux rayonnent d'intelligence, je sais!
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