Hegelian Synthesis

There is a guy who sits everyday in Euro class. He's not a student, or at least not a high school one. His scruffy clothing, reliance on coffee, and stately square glasses give him the air of a slightly unruly grad student, probably getting a PhD in one of those cutesy-dutesy liberal arts majors. His wardrobe consists of wrinkled dress shirts and Crick-like iterations of monochrome sweaters. The hair is cropped and straight , the kind of looks like it's graying even though it really isn't. Face up, he looks like a younger Mr. Beck, though he is much taller--maybe a bit too tall for comfort since he has a hunch, much like the model Zulema so berated on Project Runway (Okay, weird comparison, but it's true.) Everyday, he sits in our class and observes. I think he is a student teacher being mentored by Green.

So Green promised to explode our minds today, but the closest my brain has ever gotten to exploding was imploding out of boredom. Today's discussion on Hegel and German nationalism followed this pattern, dulling my alertness until I was ready to check into Sleepsville like every second period. Strangely enough, however, the class actually got somewhat into Hegel and his philosophy. For me, second period isn't the height of my critical powers, and I usually accept all presented philosophies without a second thought, scrawling it into my notes to decipher another day. This evidently isn't the case for some, since I could really detect a hint of ire in Laurel's voice when she questioned Hegel's elitist views on Germany.

I should make clear that I really don't like the philosphy-lite approach that Green takes to teaching Euro. His lectures on Descartes, Bayle, Voltaire, etc. have struck me as oversimplified and twisted to fit the arguments of his grand scheme of history. He tries to philosophize and teach history at the same time but really just does a poor job of both. Actually, what really bugs me is that he tries too hard to incorporate the often off-base responses of my classmates, which only ends up warping the original philosophies of the thinkers. Not that I'm the final authority on any subjects philosophical, but I do mean it when I say Euro is philosophy-lite. Yes lite, not light.

So back to the whole brouhaha of German eliticism. The fact that Green linked the ideas of Hegel directly to Nazism (a bit too explicit, no?) probably set off a few alarms. But still, that our class was so averse to Hegel really surprised me, still in my semiconscious stupor.

In steps Mr. Guy Who Sits in Our Class. I'd never really paid much attention to him before, though he did strike me as endearingly geeky. But don't you love it when people pleasantly surprise you? He made a compelling defense of Hegel, bringing up a interesting comparison of the state to a house. I was totally blown back by this...really, this made more sense than anything Green had droned on about for 35 minutes. At the end of the class, he made a remark about how Hegel's German nationalism corresponds exactly with the predominant American conscious. Yes, I completely agree again! Thank you for schooling those people who so hypocritically criticize the nationalism of other countries. From a sociological perspective, it is perfectly normal, and desirable, to believe your "group" is superior to others.

From now on, I will pay complete attention to everything this guy says because his two lines have shown more insight than Green has shown all year. (At least on a percentage basis. Small sampling size be damned.) I should probably try to find out his name first. Okay, stalking time.

Font and the Frontal Lobe: An Analysis of Typography and It's Influence on Literary Style

I promise to write this essay sometime. Right now, I have a paper to write on the much more mundane topic of family.

P.S. I don't think the title makes any sense.

P.P.S. There was an apostrophe error in the original title! 79! OMGWTF. There was no apostrophe error until I changed it to one. Oh well, no more editing.

P.P.P.S. This is random: It was Hume, not Hegel who said something about morality. (Though it was in Time magazine; I got one part right.) I feel silly and UofC would surely disapprove.

P.P.P.P.S. Signs telling me to learn German: Berlinale is going on right now, German nationalism is blooming in Euro class, and errr...Crick talked about Hegel the same day Green did. And yea, Nietzsche advertising: White, male, over 40, thinks God is dead.

Midyear Report

So I'm supposed to be filling out an official Midyear Report for UChicago, but I'm shirking my admitted student duty. On the other hand, I did submit an original prompt to possibly torture next year's UChicago applicants with. (zomgGrammarAlert: split infinitive AND ending sentence with preposition.) The essay that's supposed to result from that prompt will probably be sacrificed for Spectrum/Idiosync/Acadec writing instead. Pathetic times.

Notice how none of the above work is school-related. And guess why? Second semester senior. I'm excited for second semester even though first semester sucked in pretty much every single way possible. Honestly, junior year -- that proverbial year from hell -- has been infinitely better than senior year so far. Second semester has a lot of work to do for senior to catch up to junior. (This is possibly because senior has a mass, and thus inertia, far greater than that of junior, making acceleration difficult. Once it gets rolling however, senior can beat out any puny low-inertia junior -- hopefully.)

I've noticed how rarely I write about events in my life here. Partly, it's because I have no idea who reads, and I've realized people are ridiculously sensitive to what or how other people write. And then there is psychoanalysis bit: I'm loathe to record negative events (embarrassingly frequent), and I don't think I can write about events authentically. "Words, words, words"--such artifices of human thinking. This echoes something said in English today. So how has senior year been?

A Midyear Report:

Academics: Grade-wise, neither great nor terrible. Probably won't help my regular action apps, but I don't think they will really make a difference either. Class/teacher-wise, best ofmy high school experience. The quality and enthusiasm on the part of teachers are pretty consistent, though unfortunately I can't say the same about my own enthusiasm. Green is a flippin' exciting and understanding teacher, but I just don't find myself engrossed in the subject. Physics is made awesome by lab and McClung's cutesy-dutesy labs. Leavitt invests so much in her class I feel guilty everyday for my own slackoff-ness in French. Noeth's jokes can get tiresome but his occasional cluelessness is endearing so calc is bearable. English is actually rather inconsistent, dependent largely on Crick's mood.

ECs: This is starting to feel like a college app. For some reason, Idiosync and Spectrum aren't as fun as last year. I feel like my dedication to everything have somewhat deteriorated, which probably just speaks to my own laziness. Acadec is gearing up now, and I do want a free (not in economic terms though) trip to Hawaii, so I will muster my last defenses against laziness. Tutoring is fairly blah, and I think neither of us are too excited about bonding over math.

Movieland: What an abysmal showing this year. I really haven't seen or written anything except for a college-related essay about Brazil. The basement is currently too cold for prolonged periods of inhabitation, but come spring/summer, Netflix and projection will be more frequent companions. A couple more trips to the theater are also in order. I also haven't followed the Oscars at all this year. But...I found a recording of "Rescue Me" sung by Gael Garcia Bernal from the soundtrack of The Science of Sleep that has me incredibly excited. What's more exciting is that it's a rewrite of The Velvet Underground song "After Hours." I listened to it way too many times yesterday. "If you rescue me...I'll be your friend forever...."

Driving: Aren't I supposed to have a license by now? I haven't driven in 1.5 months and I think I drive worse than I did in the summer. iSuck.

RIP Spam 1.0. unRIP college apps.

Be-Lear-Guered

I have only a counterargument and conclusion left to write,
which means I might actually finish before midnight.

Look, I just wrote a poem. How productive am I.
Now I must write an essay. How unproductive am I.

Sigh. I must contrive to amuse myself. Funny they say AP English is hard; all that class has taught me to do is procrastinate and slack.

Matter Over Mind

Have you ever tried to think about nothing? That elusive Zen-like state of calmness. It never works because then you concentrate on not concentrating. But today, I stopped thinking. My mind literally went blank. Nothing. Nada. It stopped functioning. Just like that. My cold has sapped all energy out of me. I go around with a glazed look and gaze at things without recognition. Blargh. My eyes are glazing right now.

I look Superquiz today, which despite its intimidating name, went surprisingly well, resulting in an usually high score : study time ratio. (As opposed to English, whose score:study time ratio is depressingly low.) After literally zero study, I realized it was the least-prepared I've ever been for a test; I hadn't even made an attempt to study nor had I touched the packet since November. Strangely, I think I did better this time than on the first round. Pfft. This actually establishes a terrible precedent: any motivation to study for future tests is gone. (Not that there was much motivation before.)

My zoned-outness extended into Acadec as well:
Jyoti/Yi: Number 19 doesn't make sense. Was that the question thrown out?
Crick: Yea, 19 is a terrible question. It's just screwed up. (Okay, maybe he was more articulate , but my mind isn't recording on such high cognitive levels.)
Me: What's wrong with number 19? It makes perfect sense!!! OF COURSE WINTER SOLSTICE IS CLOSEST TO THE END OF WINTER. GEEZ!
So in King Lear, the most foolish person is actually the wisest. Maybe that's the case here? And no one else realizes my brilliant logic? Yea right. Sigh. And then I tried to make Sue correct my test even though she hadn't taken Superquiz yet.

I need sleep. Good luck getting any this weekend. The next 7 days will be hellish.

To Do for Weekend of January 20

• 2 days of Calc - in my supreme ditizness, I didn't realize there was a back to the assignment sheet
• 2 days of physics
• Catapult
• French Project: write and finish art, memorize presentation
• King Lear recitation
  
• KING LEAR PAPER.
  
• 1 week worth of Euro homework
• Senior Sem advertisement
• Figure something out about Yale
• FAFSA, CSS profile, taxes and crap
  
• Angela's Ashes